Apr 02, 2020 by Renee Linnell

This quote is from a poem called "The Invitation" by Oriah Mountain Dreamer. The segment in the graphic really spoke to me today. I recently had to have a very honest exchange with a friend of mine, who I love dearly, who is spiraling down a dark road because of addiction. I saw her walking the same road that led my mother to suicide and I told her about my concern; she did not react well . . . and decided to vilify me rather than look at her own self-destructive behavior. And then she went into Victim Mode. I "attacked her." Even though 90% of what I said was about how amazing she is and how much I love her. 


It's hard to watch people we love make terrible choices, and it's even harder to have a front row seat and not say anything. I realized I have two choices that work for me: speak my truth with love and concern, or distance myself so I don't have to watch. I usually speak my truth, with love and concern, and often get vilified. Then my own self-doubt kicks in and I question: Do I have the right to say something? Should I not be so affected? How do I know my views are right? Should I just have kept my mouth shut? 


This part in this poem really touched me today because we must be true to the deepest callings of our heart and we must speak our Truth. And we can tell it is Truth because it comes from deep love. It is not meant to hurt. Ever. And we have to trust that anything we do with love will help in some way . . . 


Each time someone we love and admire tells us something we don't want to hear we have two choices: listen, look to see if there is Truth there, and use the opportunity to grow. Or shut down, feel hurt, blame the other person, vilify her/him, and stay small. The staying small causes so much Soul Pain, it will never hurt as much to just take the constructive criticism head-on and honestly see if it applies.
 
And the holding in our Truth, not speaking it out of a fear of offending others or being exiled, causes us to shrink and play small. Holding onto friendships that don't really fit us causes us to be out of integrity, to say “yes” when we really mean “no,” to go along with conversations to which we do not agree, and to attract a peer group of people who can’t really handle Who We Truly Are. It causes us to live a lie.

It is time, right now, to begin expanding into Who We Truly Are. To allow those who are offended by it to move away from us. Allow them to call us “delusional” or  whatever else they need to say when our views threaten their own. Because only when we do this can we see who truly supports us on the crazy Path called Life and who does not. Only when we do this can we see who is not threatened by our thriving, who is not made jealous as we rise into abundance, and most fun of all: who is willing to grow with us and join us on The Abundance Ride.

I have learned it is fine if people want to stay small and not grow, but we can no longer drag them along with us; it’s too painful, for both people. With love we have to let them go, allow them to take as long as they take to expand, and realize we are simply moving forward at very different speeds. The Universe abhors a vacuum. As we grow, there will always be new expanded souls to play with; we simply need to be willing to endure some time alone before they find us. 


***

"When people's [energetic] signatures are aligned, it's easy for them to be together. They move at the same pace, and in the same flow. They feel uplifted in each other's company, and their relating is always smooth. These relationships help keep us in harmony, and these relationships help keep us in accord.

Then there are those people who drain us, and stress us out, and rub us the wrong way, and leave us feeling drained, or frazzled, or off--not because of anything they say or do, but because of the frequencies they generate. This is what happens when our signatuers are misaligned.

A lot of relationship friction is a result of misaligned signatures. It's not that anyone is doing anything wrong, or that anyone is behaving in such a way that needs correcting. The discord is happening on much subtler and more fundamental energetic levels, which means that simple behavorial adjustments aren't going to shift them. We're not meant to be in relationship with everyone." -- Shaman Durek, Spirit Hacking

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